Myras Mysterier

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people that did...

First Testimony:
I walked into a hair salon with ny husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
'How much for a shampoo and a blowjob?'

Second Testimony:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works in the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said 'I thing I like playing with mens balls'.

Third Testimony:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts'

Forth Testimony:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler desided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after recieving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity andwalked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laugter.

Fifth Testimony:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day afterit was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'


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